I have a serious accusation to make regarding Steelers owner Dan Rooney and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. It has come to my attention that these two have taken advantage of a college girl in a bar bathroom. This charge, unfortunately, cannot be corroborated as the girl in question has declined to press charges and asked that the investigation be dropped. Further there is simply no physical evidence to support the accusation.
However, in light of the fact that both Goodell and Rooney are lynching Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger for basically the same accusations and a situation that has played out exactly the same way I think that we should be fair and treat both of them the same way they are trying to treat Big Ben. Talk from the Steelers front office and the commissioners office is that they will join together to punish Roethlisberger probably with a suspension of some length ranging from two to four games. And all this because Big Ben was out trolling bars for poontang? All this when by all accounts the girl in question was inviting sexual encounters by wearing a “DTF” name tag (meaning “down to f*@k”). All this when by all accounts the girl and Big Ben had exchanged sexual talk prior to both willingly heading off to do what single men and women often do? All this when there is no evidence of any kind that any crime too place?
Of course when I say “by all accounts” I mean all accounts except those that you read on page one of the news papers covering the story and are that are apparently more interested in giving only part of the story.
Thus I am calling for punishment for Goodell and Rooney based on the charges I have made. They cannot be proven but hey, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. These two will hide behind some morality standards that the NFL claims to hold to in punish Big Ben. Well I say that it is immoral to punish a man who has committed no crime. Thus I will invoke the same standard.
I propose the following. Goodell, as the NFL ringleader in charge of this sham, shall have to resign his commissionership for allowing this travesty to occur. He will be demoted to ball boy for the Oakland Raiders for one whole season. At the completion of that season Mr. Goodell will be banned from ever holding any office in the NFL higher than Field Maintenance lackey.
For Dan Rooney I propose that, being the disgracethat he is for going along with this travesty, he should have to sell his majority stake in the Steelers effective immediately. He can remain a minority owner but shall be barred from ever having a majority stake in the team. The second term of his punishment is that he will be sentenced to spend one full season as Willie Colon’s jockstrap. Following that one year he shall be be required to spend three full seasons as a tackling dummy on the practice field and get the snot beat out of his pansy ass every day. If he survives that ordeal he will be required to and take up permanent residence in Ireland where he is now U.S. Ambassador to.
And as a bonus there is punishment that I believe should be levied on all the Ben haters within the sound of my voice who think that Big Ben should be punished because they simply believe that he should aqnd who have always hated him, created lies about him and been just general douche bags. All so-called “Steelers fans” who want Big Ben run out of town on a rail must turn in their ‘Burgher credentials. Further they must all stand in a circle, each wearing an, “I’m with this stupid FUCK next to me!” t-shirt. Because that is exactly what each of these retards are. Then they will all be packed on a train and shipped to Seattle where they can all become Seahawk fans because they deserve to suffer in such an inhumane manner.
If I were Big Ben I’d be fighting this lynching tooth and nail. But reports are that the Steelers QB will not and that he is going to accept his punishment just to make peace with assholes that don’t respect him otherwise they would never be pursuing such acts against him. Which you know I think shows that Big Ben has infinitely more class than the bozos in either the front offices of the Steelers or the NFL. Still, that said if I were Big Ben I would be leveling the full force of the player’s union against the league and beat them into submission because they are simply wrong. Then I would flip the bird to any brain dead idiot that boos me out of ignorance at Steelers games.